Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have fence marks all over my body
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
