You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
