did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
