since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
