If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
