Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
