He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I lost the right to judge tonight
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
