OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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