Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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