i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
