i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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