Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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