You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
