Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
