I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
