im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
