How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
