peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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