my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
