I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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