I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
