at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
