feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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