eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
