I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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