I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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