i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
