I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
