I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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