It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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