I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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