Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so let's talk penis.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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