He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
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When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
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He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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