Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
