I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
