I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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