We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
pop tarts are not kleenex
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
