what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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