Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
