Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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