I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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