I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
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while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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