my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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