Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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