I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
