I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
