just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize