My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
