I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
