I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
