Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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