I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
