RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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