11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
