I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
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Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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