Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
