i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize